7" CLUB APRIL 2021: ARNOCORPS "WELCOME TO THE GYM!"

Greetings fellow Tentacles!
It's been a minute this month with all the sales and shipping out of "Tea Party Revenge Porn" by Jello Biafra & The Guantanamo School of Medicine, but you all should be receiving your 7" of the month this week! This month we are thrilled to present ARNOCORPS "Welcome To The Gym!"
Through their unrelenting mission to restore integrity to Austrian alpine lore and mythology that has been bastardized and exploited by Hollywood, ArnoCorps have written the most powerful and inspiring anthems in history. To be clear, the six members of this elite Austro-Californian tactical unit are a rescue team, not assassins. In their chronicling of heroic tales and fantastic adventures, thesepioneers of action adventure hardcore rock and roll have become international symbols of empowerment through their ballsy defiance of cinematic Austroploitation. Hearing these tales in the way they were meant to be told, attentive listeners should expect to become wholly enlightened to their own potential to become goddamn heroes and sheroes. Exactly.
More than a decade ago, the San Frantastic Bay Area became headquarters to ArnoCorps, the one band determined to restore integrity to the ancient lore and mythology of the Austrian Alpine communities via punk and metal-infused rock anthems with such ancient tales as Terminator, Predator, Total Recall and Last Action Hero.

Released in 2019, "Welcome To The Gym!" features two brand new songs from ArnoCorps, the self-proclaimed Greatest Band of All Time and inventors of Action-Adventure Hardcore Rock ‘n’ Roll. The 7-inch vinyl and digital release solidifies the band’s recently expanded lineup! Founded to combat what they have deemed “cinematic Austroploitation”, including films featuring their fellow Austrian expat, Arnold Schwarzenegger. ArnoCorps claims that each film is actually unabashedly pilfered by Schwarzenegger from ancient Austrian folklore, then shamelessly bastardized by Hollywood moguls.

Lead vocalist Holzfeuer proclaims,

“Hey, come on! As the undisputed pioneers of the punk rock and fitness connection, who better than ArnoCorps to tighten up those pandemic-softened marshmallow muscles? Our latest 7 inch provides the perfect anthems for ballsy and defiant health-improving aspirations.”

Bassist Inzo der Barrakuda adds,

“That’s right. Progressive resistance. It’s a metaphor for a goddamn heroic life. Come with ArnoCorps if you want to live. Welcome To The Gym!” 

There you have it? Want a better recommendation? How about from none other than the man himself?

“These are the best songs they have ever done. Scavenger Hunt is going to be their biggest song yet. Tell them it has to be the A side!”

Jello Biafra

We are thrilled to featured ArnoCorps "Welcome To The Gym!" this month as part of our 7" Club! Want to get your own copy? CLICK HERE.
Each month, Alternative Tentacles will highlight one new or classic 7″ to send to the 7″ club. The club is currently closed for new members but have no fear! We will open it back up soon!